Day 8: Support

Support: Share your favourite support resources. Have you come across any therapies that have aided you and if so can you recommend any for others?

In all honesty I don’t feel like I’ve found anything that’s helped yet. I saw a psychologist last year & the beginning of this year, & while I found it good to talk with her I didn’t feel like I was making any progress as such…..maybe I needed to see her for longer but things got busy in those early days of pregnancy & while I was anxious I thought .i was doing ok, so to manage my time I stopped seeing her…..and when we lost this pregnancy I just couldn’t bring myself to tell another person our sad news….so I haven’t been back & I never told her. A few months ago we started seeing a grief counsellor together….I felt with the toll Grief was taking on our relationship that going to counselling together would benefit us both & help strengthen our relationship, so we found someone new to both of us. I do think it’s valuable but I also think there can be a period where it gets worse before it gets better as it brings all the feelings you’ve tried to hide back up……boy do I hope that’s the way it works, cos I’d really like it t9 get easier sometime.

Additionally I’ve been reading some books in the hope of finding something that feels like it’s helping. The pictured two are the current ones, I’m only part way into Empowering Fertility and Saying Goodbye literally just arrived today, so I’m not sure what they’re like yet. I did read Resilient Grieving a while ago, and while I like the concept, I didn’t find a lot of it was relevant to my situation…..often things about grieving talk about honouring memories, but when you don’t have anything tangible, no photos, no shared events etc like you do with someone who’s lived, or when there’s been a body to hold, it’s hard to make any of those suggestions work for you. It did however remind me that maybe I shouldn’t be expecting so much of myself yet, when it’s only been 6 months since this most recent loss…..and I have 6 years of accumulated grief….

Would love to hear if you’ve found any resources or therapies that have helped.


3 thoughts on “Day 8: Support

  1. My therapist was great initially but I really needed someone who understood failed DEIVF which is rarely written about, so when I read “Cracked Open” (Zoll) it changed me permanently. Maybe not for good, because I discovered the truth about the lie of donor egg statistics that doctors spread freely (saying you have a 50-80% chance of pregnancy when it’s actually that % GREATER chance, essentially increasing someone like me with a 4% probability to 6-7%), but I finally felt like someone got it when it came to donor egg. Ultimately it’s a solo gig though getting through this shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I found ‘Overcoming Grief’ by Sue Morris to be really helpful for me. As you say in your blog though, it may not always be appropriate for your situation, but it may help. It contained practical things to do, which I found useful. Also Nicci Fletcher of the CANBACE diaries and now has some useful blogs and things on healing, maybe check her out? Take care lovely ❤️


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