One of those weeks.

/ slidingdoorsnz

It hasn’t been a week where heaps of things have gone wrong as such….just a trying week. I’ve lost track of the number of pregnancy announcements I’ve seen, and then the media has been full of election turmoil, and a media frenzy about someone asking a female politician if/when the plan to have kids (I gave a lot of reckons on this, but I’m not going to go into it here).

On top of that it’s just been a week when grief hits you out of nowhere, particularly for Mr – so lots of compassion and support has been needed for each other and our marriage, and that takes quite a lot of energy.

I felt my mood sliding downwards this afternoon, so headed to the Mall. I don’t overly like the mall, but thought being around other people (without needing much energy for interacting/socialising) might help me feel like I’m not the only person in the work, rather than sitting at home on my own. Also though there might be a slim chance of finding a jumper to buy….and retail therapy can help sometimes right! Typical of course, the place was full if pregnant bumps and push chairs….just what I needed! Rapidly list any interest in shopping, so after buying myself fries & a cookie (desperately trying to find something to help!) I headed home again.

Got home to an email from a friend…..you’ve probably guessed already…..yep, another f’ing pregnancy announcement. Now there’s definitely different levels of coping/reactions when it comes to these announcements, depending on who they are and their story. This friend went through IVF for their first child, and had several unsuccessful cycles since trying for a second baby, and have now been blessed with a natural miracle, which of course is super awesome.

I started thinking her eating well, and seeing a naturopath obviously worked, maybe I should give it ago & see if I can stick to a similar healthy eating plan……and then swiftly fell headfirst into reality as I remembered there will be no natural miracles for us.

I think now might be a good time to return to my place under a rock with a supply of chocolate and hide from the real world for a bit.

7 thoughts on “One of those weeks.”

  2. Sorry your having those weeks! They are always tough! Don’t be afraid to draw a line under it. Decide I hasn’t been great and that it’s ok to move on! It’s Friday! There’s a weekend ahead and choose to do things that mean you are being especially kind to yourself! 💜

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  4. So sorry it’s been such a difficult week. The toxic emotion triggers are everywhere!! I get how it feels to know you will never ever be a magic unicorn natural preg after IVF. I can’t even seem to get pregnant with donor eggs, so mine are completely out of the question even if there’s one or two left in there. The world just incredibly sucks sometimes.

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  5. What a week you had!! Hiding from the real world (one of my most valuable and trusted coping mechanisms) is totally valid – it’s over rated any way. I used to have so much trouble at the mall, the constant triggers made my skin crawl and made me so jumpy I’d buy numerous amounts of one thing when finding something I liked so I wouldn’t have to go back for awhile. During one of my particularly PTSD laden trips I “escaped” to the dressing room to try something on. There was a woman with a baby, whom the sales person was drooling over in a VERY loud voice, in the stall next to me. I started to think if I climbed into the rafters of the mall there’d probably somehow be a friggen baby there too……

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    • Yes hiding from the real world is sometimes a necessary strategy. Sometimes I think it becomes easier for us to pretend we’re ok and just keep doing what we’re expected to do, than it is for us to actually do the things that are most beneficial for us.

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